“Now whenever the cloud lifted from the Tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out on their journey, following it.”

Exodus 40:36 (NLT)

In this season of life, I have found a new appreciation for the children of Israel, who wandered through the desert for 40 years, waiting to enter the Promised Land.

Previously, when I read the stories in scripture of their travels, I would feel a bit envious that they got to see God’s presence leading them in such a tangible way – the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night. It was clear, abundantly clear, when God was taking them to a new place. All they had to do was pack up and go, and my flesh would muse, “Man, how great would that be, to actually see God leading, without doubts, questions, or fear of making a mistake?”

Now, however, I see things quite differently, and my envy is gone.

I never really considered what it must have been like for the children of Israel to pack up everything they owned and move simply because God said it was time. But they did, for 40 years. Scripture saying…

Whether the cloud stayed above the Tabernacle for two days, a month, or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on. But as soon as it lifted, they broke camp and moved on.

Number 9:22 (NLT)

What must that have been like? Can you even begin to imagine following God in that way? To just get settled for a month, everything finally put away, and then realize, “it’s time to move again.” 

Welcome to my story. 

The leading is different; there is no cloud, but the guidance is the same. You see, today, we have something the children of Israel did not possess. The Holy Spirit living inside those of us who’ve accepted Jesus as our Savior. His presence far more powerful than merely watching a cloud, because it is inside of us, always leading, always guiding, always speaking… if we are paying attention.

His presence invites us to live confidently without doubts, questions, or fear of making mistakes because he can be trusted as the third person of the Trinity. While this is fantastic news, like the children of Israel, we are expected to follow his leadings in obedience, even when we don’t understand or see the full picture of where or what he is leading us to.

In 2019, I started listening intently, in a way I never had before, to the Holy Spirit and his leading. In that season, my husband, Todd, and I felt his clear leading to give up our dream home, our toys, and Todd’s job security of 30 years, so that we could follow wherever God would lead me in pastoral ministry. It was scary to give up everything, but there was also an unexplainable sense of peace in knowing God would lead us to where he wanted us to be.

Fast forward to today, July of 2025, let me say, it’s been a wild ride, and I’m weary. In 6 years’ time, we’ve followed God to 4 cities, purchased 3 homes, lived in 1 apartment, and now find ourselves back where we started in Missouri. My flesh wants to scream, “Lord, what’s been the point of all of this?” But my heart already knows the answer.

You see, the home we are now living in is the same one we lived in right after I graduated from seminary in 2011. All these years, we’ve hung onto it as a rental property, and God made sure it was available when he led us back to it. I remember sitting at the kitchen table of this home back then, crying into my Bible because after all my schooling, God had not opened a door for me in paid ministry, and I was crushed. I raged at him and demanded answers, but nothing came until he was ready, roughly 15 months later.

Today, I sit in that same kitchen, tired but confident that something is coming. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I’m different. There is no more striving, grasping, or straining. No raging or demanding, just the knowledge that God is faithful and our journey thus far has been purposeful. In ways that are difficult to fully articulate, we’ve experienced God’s unseen hand molding us, shaping us, and refining us for what’s to come. You can’t fast-track or buy this kind of spiritual growth or confidence in the Lord, and I’m grateful all our wanderings have brought us to this place of peace.

I may not know what’s ahead, but I know my Lord is already there, and that all he’s been teaching us these past 6 years will not be wasted. So for now, I’m looking to the skies for the cloud to lift and will be excited to share with you where he leads us next. Maybe, just maybe, the next move will be to our Promised Land.

For Your Reflection…

Following God is not easy, but we can trust that wherever he leads is for our good and his highest glory. It may not always look the way we think it should or turn out as we expect, but God will never waste any part of our journey.

Where is God leading you? Are you willing to follow him? Why or why not?

Be honest with yourself and God. What’s getting in the way of your obedience?